Have you ever seen the movie Being John Malkovich? If not... well you should watch it! Otherwise the whole thing is kinda complicated to explain, and will end up being a shitty metaphor. Either way, I'll give it a whirl... the basic premise is that people get to inhabit the mind of a person for a short period of time, after which they are tossed into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey turnpike.
Ditch and Jersey Turnpike aside, I have this visceral need to be understood by others. Yet I feel fully incapable of explaining what it's truly like to be me.
Sometimes this leaves me wishing that someone could sit in the passenger seat of my mind. I can't help but wonder how validating it would feel seeing the look on a person's face as they landed in the ditch, just having experienced the full treatment.
I also have extreme anxiety about what others think about me. Logically I know this should not play such a large role in how I live my life, but sometimes logic and emotions do not play well with each other in my world. ;-)
Because I was not having enough fun sorting that stuff out, why not stir in a heaping American sized serving of eating disorders, and ADHD too.
So anyway, I find myself torn, living between two extremes. Isolation out of fear, and the fear of isolation...
Can anyone else relate to this?
